


Steady

by Andromakhe



Series: Of Blades and Blossoms [8]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 1987)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-05-02 16:29:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5255336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromakhe/pseuds/Andromakhe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set about a year after 'Odds.' Lotus fears the unknown future. Leo thinks that's an inefficient use of resources. Lotus isn't convinced. But she is consoled. Companion song is "Eternal Flame" by The Bangles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steady

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in a vague distant future. I wrote this with the idea that Leo and Lotus have been a couple for at least a year. It could be more than that, but not much. Maybe a year and a half at most. So somewhere in there.
> 
> The companion song for this vignette is "Eternal Flame" by The Bangles.

Leo lay on Lotus' bed, an arm under her pillow supporting his neck as he rested comfortably on his side. Part of his hand was exposed, fingers curling over the edge of the pillow. His other arm cuddled her blanket close to his chest, lying flush against his ribs, though his forearm draped over his stomach and onto the comforter. His shell was to the wall, though there was some room between them.

Lotus sat on a hard wooden chair, a round cushion placed on the seat. It had been brought in from the living area. She rested her calves on the bed, soles of her feet against Leo's thighs, holding a book of short children's stories and beginning to read in lilting Japanese.

Leo's smile was immediate. It wasn't just that the story was familiar. He loved how Lotus sounded when she spoke her native language. Leo was capable of fluent Japanese and often spoke it with Splinter outside of training situations, but he grew up in America and was thus encouraged to make English his default language unless he was around Japanese speakers. So Japanese was special to Leo and he and Lotus would sometimes simply converse casually in that language. This had been one of those days. 

Lotus returned his smile, her voice rising and falling as she read with feeling. Her heart was in the story, and Leo appreciated her passion.

Leo was following along, expression shifting appropriately during sad and cheerful parts. But as Lotus continued to read, Leo's breathing began to even out as his muscles relaxed. Lotus stopped reading when Leo began snoring quietly.

Smiling tenderly at her sleeping turtle, Lotus closed the book and put it on a bookshelf. She took an empty glass from the nightstand, taking a moment to brush her fingers over one of Leo's sword hilts while she was in the area. Leaving the room with ninja stealth, she returned with the glass full of water, setting it in its place so when Leo woke, he'd have something to drink. Stroking the smooth roughness of his carapace, Lotus contemplated the warrior who changed her perspective and her world so subtly yet dramatically.

Lotus sat back on the chair, deciding that touching Leo too much might disturb him, and listened to his rhythmic snoring. Saying so would embarrass him, Lotus knew, but he was cute when asleep. She couldn't kill him then; she certainly couldn't do it now. Sure, she lost a lot of money, but money was replaceable. Leonardo was not.

Leonardo was innocent yet realistic, a young boy who loved adventure and a cunning ninja who could calculate the precise amount of power required to disarm or disable without causing permanent harm. He was courteous and elegant, but also irritable and snappish on occasion. He liked insubstantial monster movies, but would also sit through her slower-paced romances. They did find common ground in documentaries and nonfiction, as well as in literature. Leo introduced her to books she'd never read. Which reminded her. 

Taking a final look at her hardworking partner, she closed her bedroom door softly and sat on the couch with a book she was almost done reading. Leo had noticed, saying he was glad she'd been enjoying it. He had warned her the ending was sad, but when she finally got to it, she wasn't prepared for how much the story would affect her. She wasn't prepared for how much she'd identify with the heroine. She began to think of her life without Leo, never being able to return to her previous state of being. She knew Leo, and for better or for worse, she was changed permanently. And the thought of his loss broke her heart because of that.

Sniffing and wiping at teary eyes with the back of a hand, she closed the book and set it on the table by the couch. It belonged to Leo and she had to remember to return it. Right now, she needed to see him, needed to touch and be touched.

Sniffing again, she went into her room, leaving the door ajar. Leo still snored, oblivious to her turmoil. She crawled into bed, maneuvering herself between Leo's shell and the wall. It wasn't very comfortable, but she was close to him. She lay one arm over his shell, wrapping herself as best she could around it, her head supported on a folded arm and partially on her pillow. Thinking about never being able to do this anymore made her begin to cry in earnest, and she clung tighter, whimpers muffled by the mattress..

"Mmmm," Leo moaned sleepily, raising his head slowly and turning onto his stomach to look at his drooping flower, hair hiding her face as her head was buried on her arm.

Lotus stopped crying audibly, but her sobs and trembling gave her away. Leo cradled her against his chest with an arm under her waist, throwing the blanket behind him and shifting the pillow so Lotus could actually use it properly before maneuvering her onto the pillow and stroking her upper arm soothingly.

Lotus had an arm under Leo's neck, her other hand anchoring him to her by resting firmly against his shell. She tossed her head to get her hair out of her face and lay her forehead against his shoulder, pressing the rest of her body as close to him as she could. It was as though she wanted to become him; she was so close. Her legs even twined with his.

"You all right?" Leo asked hoarsely in English. It was instinctive for him to use English, even though he grew up hearing and speaking Japanese. 

Lotus didn't answer. She just held her position.

After some moments of neither moving nor speaking, Lotus finally extricated herself and stood up, tapping on Leo's shell with the glass of water in her hand. Chuckling a little drowsily, Leo sat up with some effort and reached for the glass, drinking gratefully and reaching to set it on the nightstand. But Lotus did it for him and lay back down on the edge of the bed, moving the blanket against the wall and out of the way. She was facing Leo, who reached for her, but she shook her head, grasping his hands as he lay back on his side. 

"Leonardo," Lotus began shakily, hands fidgeting nervously, "I finished The Iliad. Lots of sword and spear fights. I began to see why it appealed to you. 

"But then I read the story of Hector's wife. She lost her family to a madman, crazed with bloodlust. She married into Hector's clan, and by all appearances, they loved each other. And then she lost him to the same brute who orphaned her and slew her brothers. And the more I thought about it, the more she sounded like me. Hector was as honorable as you. The best warrior in his clan. He was even set to lead his clan one day.

"Leonardo," she whispered urgently, fingers digging painfully into his hands, "you mustn't let that happen to me. A life without you; how would I carry on? Just like with Hector's widow, you are everything to me - brother, partner, friend, teacher. She had plenty of brother-in-laws, and perhaps she found friends among her sisters or others she met in her new land. But I know how she felt. Her husband was her heart. If she was like me, she spent the rest of her days in grief."

Leo was speechless. What could he say to assuage fear and heartache that primal, that deep? There was nothing he could do, either, unless he stopped living altogether to avoid the possibility of an untimely demise. Just like the warrior from the story, it broke his heart to see or hear his love in pain, but at the same time, he'd die for her to keep her safe. He understood keenly the kind of bind Hector was in when Andromache begged him to stay home. He could not stay, though a part of his heart dearly wished to. People he didn't know, people who couldn't fight, needed him to fight for them. His clan needed to be secured, and that meant stopping Shredder. And any other villain who wanted to rule the world.

Regret must have shown in Leo's eyes, because Lotus nodded slowly in understanding. Lotus sighed heavily. Her Leonardo was a responsible leader and would not shirk his duties. And Lotus decided that on reflection, she'd rather have a man (or turtle) like Leonardo than a slacker like, say, his brother Michelangelo. Michelangelo was fun and easygoing, but not partner material. Too boyish.

"If I'm fated to be defeated in combat, it'll happen," Leo said soberly. "Lotus, I love you more than I can say, but I cannot avoid battle for you. I'm too young for it to no longer be my job. 

"Dear one, there is no other woman - no other female - for me. If you were to die, I'd never seek another partner. I would carry on and so would you, because we are loved and not alone. Our friends would help us, and eventually, we'd pick ourselves up again and keep moving. 

"I, too, would live with a constant yearning for you, but it is too late to change course. We are inextricably bound now, and we face the same emptiness should the unthinkable happen. So I intend to enjoy every second I have with you, and I refuse to allow the fear of what hasn't happened yet to dictate my outlook on life. The way I see it, it's more productive to fill our days with as much happiness as possible. Plenty of time for pain later, and it may be that what you fear doesn't happen, in any case."

Leo reached for Lotus again and this time, she let him hold her. She held him fiercely in turn, planting little pecks over his cheeks, his nose, and his forehead. She loved him so much. She just couldn't say it. _You mean so much to me. I care so much for you. You're my everything._ "I love you so much it hurts," Lotus murmured in instinctive Japanese, voice on the verge of tears. It was the language she thought in, and her declaration couldn't be contained.

Leo hugged her gently, rubbing her back and clicking his tongue in commiseration. He replied in Japanese. "And even so, I wouldn't have it any other way. To have your love, to know its softness, its shrewdness, its ferocity and tenderness - I'm the luckiest turtle in the world."

"Leonardo," she whispered, and the love contained in his name washed over him, flowed through him, permeated all of him. If this moment could be frozen, Leo would say he felt complete stillness. No doubt, no worry, no fear, no turbulence. Just restful calm.

"Lotus," he breathed back, the name barely audible but for the sibilant second syllable. And Leo's profound compassion resided in her heart, touched her spirit, and eased her mind. She knew then that whatever the future held, she would never forget this moment. She would never forget that Hamato Leonardo loved her with every fiber of his being. And somehow, for right now, that was enough.


End file.
